bottledWalter

Written: 4/24/01
Words: Walter Koning

I’ve got this pessimistic optimism about me.

Forward looking I’m a little weary. Maybe not pessimistic. If I were pessimistic. I’d think the future holds a plethora of bad things in a box, a gift for me. When the future becomes the present, this gift for me will be opened and a torent of negativity will pour over me. This pessimism is both negative and silly. The future may always be saddening, and the present may currently be saddening, but a negative view of it all will only make it worse.

If I were optimistic I’d think the morrow brings nothing but presents filled with figurative sweets. The future is something to look forward to; Not as an escape from today, but as a continuation of the joy currently enjoyed. Optimism stretches reality in awkward ways to hide the fear of tomorrow being as dismal as today. The future may be wonderful and cheery but an optimistic view covers up the need for honest preparation for impending doom.

So am I a realist? Maybe. If I am, that’s frightening. The realist is stuck with empathizing with the hopelessness felt by so many people; with the founded worries of how to make ends meet; with the constant fear of WWIII. The realist is also fortunate as they get to share in the joy of a first at bat, in any league; of a successful career; of a happy family; of a well rewarded effort.

But I’ve got this pessimistic optimism about me.